Onward

2017 was rough. My beliefs made watching my country's actions difficult (yes, there were some glimmers of hope). I am combating job burn out, and have struggled with that since the spring. This has bled into worry that my career was the wrong choice, which is terrifying because of how expensive it was (and still is). I lost my sense of self. Interestingly, I have always struggled in yoga and meditation to grasp what it means to "set your intention for practice," but from what I've inferred over the years, it seems like a better fit than the word "resolution." It is less stark; an intention seems more like a journey than a hard rule.  My intention for 2018 is to regain a sense of self. In 2018, I hope to find my own peace. I will work to put myself, my mental health, and my family first. I want to help people outside of my career. I hope to develop a hobby or two.

I have been struggling with self-identity for the past year or two. When I realized that my job was zapping my joy and energy, the truth started emerging - I wasn’t happy with what I was identifying as. I was a dedicated speech-language pathologist who put in more than 40 hours a week at work; I put in many more hours a week as my students, my workload, and paperwork clouded my mind outside of work. Time and energy for any hobbies dwindled. I had no energy left to identify as anything else. Once I pieced all of this together, I stopped taking additional students at work. I started to incorporate mindfulness practices. I started closing my door at work so I could focus and thus feel comfortable leaving my work at work, physically and mentally. I’m still growing here, trying to break free of identifying primarily as a speech-language pathologist. Today, more light was shed on my own perception of my identity as I realized that I’ve also been battling identity beyond my career. I ...